Dear Santa Claus,
Merry Christmas Eve Eve! I’m sorry my list is late, but at least I’m sending it. These are the things I would like this year:
- World peace
- A winning lottery ticket for at least 5 million dollars
- A super bowl win for the Ravens
- Santa Blanket
- Jason Segel
- 60 lbs extra weight on my ex boyfriend’s new model girlfriend
- Bob Harper living with me so that I will do everything right to have the perfect body
- J. Crew’s collection for each season shipped to my house
- Tickets to Medieval Times
- And more drinking themed nights at the Science Center
For the items that you can’t wrap, if you could just write down what it is on a piece of paper and put that in a box to wrap so I still get to open it, I’d appreciate it.
And just some clarifications on certain items: Jason Segel doesn’t necessarily have to be my boyfriend but I’d like to be at least really good friends with him and for us to have a loving relationship. But if he is romantically interested and asks me to run away together, I would. Bob Harper will be coming with us.