Monday, December 20, 2010

Dear Boy Lyrics of "Baby It's Cold Outside"

Get me out of here

Much to the pleasure of my roommates, singing in the shower is a very active hobby of mine, and at a very high volume. Naturally at this time of year, since we are in the midst of the Christmas season, I am exclusively singing Christmas carols. I'm really not all that picky-choosy; I like all of them. Even that awful rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas about everything everyone hates about Christmas; it's very negative, but sometimes true. I have a hangover right now, on, good job to them. I also had a terrible time stringing up my lights this year and got electrocuted twice because the bulbs broke and I accidentally touched the inside. I felt weird. My house looks good though.
But yesterday, while wrapping up some Bing Crosby and David Bowie, Dean Martin started transitioning onto the radio, singing his hit Baby It's Cold Outside. I am a fan of this song, to say the least. It's always been this cute love song about a couple that didn't want the night to end. Precious. So, I'm singing along, girl parts only, and I start dreaming about actually being that girl in love (I've been dreaming a lot lately, probably because I just watched Inception for the first time the day before yesterday. Dreams on the brain.) I'm singing and I'm listening to the boy sing his parts... and I'm singing and listening and singing and.............then I start feeling very uncomfortable. This guy that is trying to get me to stay over his house is super creepy and I want to go home right now. This song is no longer a Christmas dream of mine. This song is a Christmas nightmare.
Dear Boy Lyrics of "Baby It's Cold Outside",
I am telling you over and over that I cannot stay and you are just telling me it's cold outside. I know it's cold outside, dude, it's winter. My mom is worried, my father is pacing the floor and my neighbors are fainting: this is not a good situation. You sound like The Situation, actually.
I briefly give in and say I'll have half a drink more because you're being super annoying. I ask you a friendly, simple question, "say, what's in this drink?" and your reply is "no cabs to be had out there." What? That does not answer my question at all. I'm being roofied, I bet. I start wishing I knew how to "break this spell" and you're taking my hat off when I obviously will have hat head. I don't believe you when you say that my hair looks swell....there's no way.
Lend me a coat, because this is how rumors get spread. I don't care that the snow is up to my knees; if I got here at the beginning of the night I knew it was snowing....snow up to my knees doesn't just drop down pre-measured. Please stop trying to convince me I'm going to get pneumonia and die. That is an overreaction. I'm leaving, it can't be that cold outside.

I still like the song. But that boy is super sketch.

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