Dear Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,

Merry Christmas Eve Eve! I’m sorry my list is late, but at least I’m sending it. These are the things I would like this year:

• World peace
•  A winning lottery ticket for at least 5 million dollars
•  A super bowl win for the Ravens
• Santa Blanket
• Jason Segel
•  60 lbs extra weight on my ex boyfriend’s new model girlfriend
• Bob Harper living with me so that I will do everything right to have the perfect body
•  J. Crew’s collection for each season shipped to my house
• Tickets to Medieval Times
• And more drinking themed nights at the Science Center

Santa Blanket

For the items that you can’t wrap, if you could just write down what it is on a piece of paper and put that in a box to wrap so I still get to open it, I’d appreciate it.

And just some clarifications on certain items: Jason Segel doesn’t necessarily have to be my boyfriend but I’d like to be at least really good friends with him and for us to have a loving relationship. But if he is romantically interested and asks me to run away together, I would. Bob Harper will be coming with us.

Thanks Santa.