Dear Boy Lyrics of "Baby It's Cold Outside"

Get me out of here

Much to the pleasure of my roommates, singing in the shower is a very active hobby of mine, and at a very high volume. Naturally at this time of year, since we are in the midst of the Christmas season, I am exclusively singing Christmas carols. I'm really not all that picky-choosy; I like all of them. Even that awful rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas about everything everyone hates about Christmas; it's very negative, but sometimes true. I have a hangover right now, so....spot on, good job to them. I also had a terrible time stringing up my lights this year and got electrocuted twice because the bulbs broke and I accidentally touched the inside. I felt weird. My house looks good though.

But yesterday, while wrapping up some Bing Crosby and David Bowie, Dean Martin started transitioning onto the radio, singing his hit Baby It's Cold Outside. I am a fan of this song, to say the least. It's always been this cute love song about a couple that didn't want the night to end. Precious. So, I'm singing along, girl parts only, and I start dreaming about actually being that girl in love (I've been dreaming a lot lately, probably because I just watched Inception for the first time the day before yesterday. Dreams on the brain.) I'm singing and I'm listening to the boy sing his parts... and I'm singing and listening and singing and.............then I start feeling very uncomfortable. This guy that is trying to get me to stay over his house is super creepy and I want to go home right now. This song is no longer a Christmas dream of mine. This song is a Christmas nightmare.

Please take this time to look up the lyrics:http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/d/deanmartin6331/babyitscoldoutside509415.html

Dear Boy Lyrics of "Baby It's Cold Outside",

I am telling you over and over that I cannot stay and you are just telling me it's cold outside. I know it's cold outside, dude, it's winter. My mom is worried, my father is pacing the floor and my neighbors are fainting: this is not a good situation. You sound like The Situation, actually.

I briefly give in and say I'll have half a drink more because you're being super annoying. I ask you a friendly, simple question, "say, what's in this drink?" and your reply is "no cabs to be had out there." What? That does not answer my question at all. I'm being roofied, I bet. I start wishing I knew how to "break this spell" and you're taking my hat off when I obviously will have hat head. I don't believe you when you say that my hair looks swell....there's no way.

Lend me a coat, because this is how rumors get spread. I don't care that the snow is up to my knees; if I got here at the beginning of the night I knew it was snowing....snow up to my knees doesn't just drop down pre-measured. Please stop trying to convince me I'm going to get pneumonia and die. That is an overreaction. I'm leaving, it can't be that cold outside.

I still like the song. But that boy is super sketch.

Dear Mariah Carey

MIMI

Dear Mariah Carey,

I think that everyone, give or take a few floozies, can agree that 11 out of our 12 months you are, to put it simply, hi-larry-us. Your songs give us lyrical gifts including "Why are you so obsessed with me?" and "Shoe do do do do do do do." You cut the top of your jeans off instead of the bottom (jorts reference). Your shirts don't fit. You married Nick Cannon. All of this is comical gold. Gold. And by no means am I unappreciative of the laughs you give me and my blood sisters and my bff sisters. Do you, Mariah. Just know that I'm making fun of you, January - November.

.....But when December rolls around and I turn on lite 102, I literally hear music to my ears. Everything you've done for the past year is forgotten and my sarcasm is melted into utmost respect. I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you.

I don't care if you're Jewish, Kwanzan, Christian, an Atheist, a believer that Tim Allen really is Santa Claus or a non believer ....when that song comes on your mood is lifted 3 notches and you are looking for someone to sing it to. I have never in my life been more reminded of how musically non-talented I am, than during the 3 minutes and 55 seconds that this song is being played, and yet somehow the song makes all that okay. It somehow makes it okay to be alone at Christmas. Somehow, it makes it okay to have a cartoon music video.

Without this song, there would be empty, silent kitchens when there should be women baking cookies in them. Without this song, there would be empty Facebook statuses on girls' pages. Without this song, my dad would have nothing to listen to in the background of his nightly spider solitaire game (December only. January - November it's Leona Lewis' Bleeding Love).

I guess you could call this song a Christmas miracle. It has lassoed my heart and won't let go. So, thank you, Mariah Carey. If it weren't for this song, the Grinch probably would have successfully stolen Christmas.